Spring Break = Avoidance

Over 2 weeks ago I started my list of things I wanted to get accomplished during spring break. They are things that I don't really have time to do during school, but that still need to be done and that I really want to have crossed off my list. So far I really haven't gotten any of those things done. I've done a few things that didn't make it to the list (though I'm considering writing them on the list just so I can cross them out).

The big thing with me is, and always has been, that when a task feels big and overwhelming, I just avoid it. Because it feels so huge, I don't even start it. Instead I distract myself with other things, sometimes useful, sometimes not. This is the root my my procrastination. The problem is, I'm also a perfectionist and am increadibly bothered by the things I'm not getting done. Of course, not bothered enough to actually DO those things. That would be too easy.

So far Spring Break has gone well. I've seen some friends, gotten a few things done, and most importantly, been able to rest and relax a bit. I've noticed over the last few years that breaks often feel over prematurely for me, and I think I've finally figured out why: I schedule out my time, planning to meet with this person, do this thing, etc. For example, by now, I have something scheduled for each of the days remaining in my break. While this is not a bad thing at all, it makes me feel like I've already spent the time of my break; the time's already gone because I've allocated it. Because I'm already planning for the end of the week, I'm looking at the end of break, even though I'm not quite halfway thru it yet.

So in remedy, I'm trying to remind myself of all the time I have that's NOT scheduled for anything. Like right now, for instance. I don't have to be anywhere or do anything until church tonight. So I'm able to be somewhat leasurly with my time today. However, I still have my list of things I want to get accomplished, so I need to use my time well.

What I really need to be able to figure out is what things will make me feel the best about what I've accomplished with the least amount of work. Not so I don't have to do much work, but so that I can maximize my time and be able to feel like I've accomplished alot. Because, really, how I feel about it is really all that matters in this case. No one else is really affected whether or not I get my list done, its just how I will feel about myself and my condo.

And with that, I'm off to get some things done. Don't know how much I'll acctually accomplish, but I'll do what I can!